Thoughts of a Hyuga Father
by Cece and Tems
Summary: :Chap 11: Naruto. drunk!Hiashi. Karaoke. Miscommunication. Shots. Yo Mama fights. Assumptions. Brawls. Bonding? :: The protective big daddy vs. the idiot. The prize: Hinata. Naruto has no chance against Hiashi :: .:Crack:. .:NaruHina:.
1. Thoughts on fatherhood: prelude

Hello people Cece's back! (audience just stare blankly, crickets chirp) I know you're all out there. Well, I had the urge to do something family based so here it is (audience scream and throw chairs and tables at me, me screaming in terror running out of the way)

This is basically how despite his coldness towards Hinata, Hiashi does care and worry about her like every other father. Also, it was his birthday this week, on the 8th. Bits of humour added. Read and review.

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Thoughts of a Hyuga Father:

Prelude

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Hiashi knew fatherhood wasn't going to be easy as fighting a whole village, giving the curse seal mark to the whole of the branch family, fighting his father to claim his position as leader whilst making a sandwich. Okay, maybe that's not easy but he managed it. How you ask? Well, when Hiashi was in his prime he was considered a prodigy, this interested the whole of Sound so, obviously, they attacked. On the same day, and the same time, someone had found out how to get rid of the curse mark and, inconveniently, he had to take care of this problem and put them back on. Also, at the exact same time Hiashi was scheduled to fight his father to see if he deserved to be the next leader. He also made a sandwich at that moment. But why did he make a sandwich you ask also? A man can be hungry, can't he?...

When Hiashi first found out his wife was pregnant he asked- actually demanded while activating his Byakugan- who the father was. It wasn't until he had beaten up every male ninja- surprisingly, including Genin- he calmed down and listened to his wife. He had to make a public apology afterwards.

When Hinata was born, Hiashi knew that he had to protect her. Whenever she cried at night he would be there to break the intruder in half, make him cry blood and pull his lungs and heart out through his nose... There was never an intruder...actually, one time there was an intruder but Hiashi was too delirious from lack of sleep he mistook the Oto-nin for Hinata and tried to give the poor ninja a diaper change. Too this day all Oto-nin think Hiashi plays for both teams... or has a skeleton in his closet and being married to a woman is all a charade.

By the time Hinata was one she had learnt how to walk. Good thing, huh? Nope, nada, no, N.O. spells NO! And here's a logical explanation to this problem. Children are naturally curios. If Hinata couldn't walk she wouldn't be able to move about freely and get very far. But since she is a child and can, unfortunately, walk and can run, it wasn't surprising that she went missing one day. Hiashi being a clever and patient man decided to race across the village, asking anyone if they saw Hinata whilst waving a kunai in front of their face if they took too long to answer. It took him 2 hours to give up asking around and remember what the Byakugan can do...maybe, clever and patient aren't the right words...In the end it turned out that she was in a pan under the sink.

Terrible two. Two words that mean a phase which children go through when they're, um well, two. All toddlers go through this and that doesn't excuse the Hyuga Heiress. Eating was always a problem for Hiashi in the morning, since he was forced to wake up at the same time as Hinata which was _very _early. Every morning he had to restrain himself from sleeping at the table. On one particular day though, Hiashi had closed his eyes for one second- or maybe it was for a minute- and when said Hyuga opened his eyes and took a sip of his tea he was greeted to the great, soothing, delicious taste of-_SALT!_ (insert Hyuga leader spitting out his tea, maid claiming she didn't put salt in his tea and Hiashi throwing her out of the compound, claiming that she is mad) When he looked over at Hinata he swore he saw her grin.

When Hinata was three it was time to train her and take his nephew, Neji, under his wing for a bit. But add a jealous, younger brother with a grudge watching the training session; it was definitely not going to go smoothly. Hiashi wished he didn't have to go through with it since he knew his brother despised him (and possibly despised his daughter too) which might lead to him attacking either of them. His suspicions quickly came true. The first training session with his beloved daughter and he manages to traumatize her for life by activating the curse mark seal. He was sure she would have nightmares and be shaking in fear every time he lifted his hand. His wife going to murder him (!), but in his defense, HE wasn't the one in the wrong, if his younger brother wasn't a brat it wouldn't have come down to it. Maybe he could escape death with family counselling.

Hinata had now reached the age of four and had found multiple escape routes to the garden and a whole in the fence leading to three paths to God-know-where. On Tuesday, 26th of April, Hinata had disappeared... again. Hiashi learning from past mistakes looked under the sink at first and greeted to a spider the size of a baby. After killing the baby- I mean spider- he activated his Byakugan and saw his daughter go through a flap behind her bed, into the garden, escaping through another flap in the fence and take a path...leading to the cliffs. When Hiashi got to the cliffs, Hinata was on seated at the ledge, playing with a butterfly. Moving closer to his beloved daughter, the ledge cracked. Hinata was saved, somehow, but Hiashi was later that day admitted into hospital.

Five is a curious age. So when Hanabi was conceived, young Hinata asked her father the dreaded question that all young children ask. **HOW. DID. HER. BROTHER. OR. SISTER. GET. INSIDE. HER. MOTHER'S. STOMACH? **After choking on his food and coughing hysterically, Hiashi told his daughter the safest answer he could give without traumatizing her and getting a, now, hormonal pregnant woman angry at him. The answer: **HIS WIFE, HINA, ATE A BABY WHICH WOULD DEVELOP INISDE HINA AND COME OUT 9 MONTHS LATER. **But poor Hinata fainted at the word baby due to visual images of her okaa-san 'the baby eater', eating babies, popping up into her fragile mind and didn't hear the rest of the explanation.

When Hanabi was born, Hinata asked her father while entering the delivery room; where did her okaa-san get the baby so she could eat it? Trying to avoid the incident 9 months earlier, Hiashi told Hinata, a delivery man delivers babies, to the women who ordered the baby, who would then have to eat the baby which would then take 9 months to digest and take out. Unlike last time, it was Hiashi who fainted, when he entered the delivery room due to things he really shouldn't have seen (cough) lots of blood...and the afterbirth aka the placenta (cough)

Seven? What did the Hyuga heiress do this time...well she wet herself during a family meal. Sadly, feudal lords attended as well. Hinata was innocently sitting next to her father whilst being told how cute she was, how much she had grown, _blah blah blah_, with cheek pinching included when all of a sudden, nature called. Not wanting to be rude and just leave, she decided to inform her father who was busy talking to a grown-up. Having been told not to interrupt grown-ups talking to each other, poor, poor Hinata sat there waiting for the conversation to end. You can guess what happened next.

When little ninjas turn eight they join the academy, and it was now the time Hinata joined as well. The orientation happened to surprisingly go well...until she lost her lunch...not her packed lunch...she didn't even have a packed lunch to begin with...it was the lunch that had settled in her stomach and decided to make its' reappearance...all over the _Uchiha _brats head. **Hiashi's point of view**: I smirked at this. Damn _Uchihas_ _**we**_ Hyugas were in Konoha first and there precious sharingan ('supposedly') came from the BYAKUGAN. And the BYAKUGAN doesn't make us blind and further more... **end** **Hiashi's point of view, he'll go on and on if we don't stop him.**

The next three years nothing really happened with the Hyuga heiress worth mentioning, except the fact he pretty much ignored her more than ever...not that he completely payed attention to her in the past, all these memories are the parts of her life he can just _barely _remember.

When she was around twelve, Hinata had finally graduated and was put into a cell of three for missions who would sometimes go on their own or with their sensei. In other words, when her sensei wasn't going on the mission his daughter would be ALONE with TWO BOYS! Hiashi didn't trust them...especially the dog boy. He was, in Hiashi's eyes, a BAD influence and trouble for his innocent daughter. Hiashi didn't like this, didn't like it indeed.

A while after her thirteenth birthday it was obvious that Hinata was growing up and that finally became apparent when his mother-less daughter, blushing a shade darker than the darkest shade of red, opened his bedroom door in the middle of the night with glossy eyes. Taking in the fact that she was close to crying, Hiashi, being the concerned parent he was, asked, 'Why did you wake me up?'...caring and lovely isn't he. Spluttering out an incoherent sentence quickly he gathered that she woke up, saw blood on her trousers that he just noticed and doesn't know what's happening. Gathering his thoughts he tried to think of the reason for this, and then it hit him, as if the Hokage Mountain heads had crumbled and he just so happened to be walking next to them and then the fifth punched him into the ground... she's having her PERIOD! Hinata suddenly didn't seem so little anymore to him.

Stumbling over a diary belonging to his eldest fourteen year old daughter Hiashi never expected to read the words 'I miss Naruto, but I must become stronger for him until he returns.' Who was this _Naruto_? Where is he? Will she notice if he **never** came back and was reported **dead **by _unknown_ reasons? It only took a few pages of his daughter talking non-stop about Naruto for his questions to be answered... all he needed to do was slip it back to where he found it without being noticed but Hanabi happened to walk past and see him...smooth Hiashi, really smooth.

Without a mother, Hinata had to learn many things on her own, but personal things were alien to her. Hiashi being the 'greatest father in the world' (that was sarcasm) decided to explain the 'facts of life' (e.g. sex and the 'body') but ironically started to stutter like her and fainted when he reached the word 'breasts', stuttering all the way, in the sentence, 'When females reach a certain age parts of them grow and get bigger, attracting males, like their bre-'.

No father wants to see their daughters grow up, especially when boys get hormonal at the tender age of sixteen, when they are less obsessed with training and give their little angels more attention, so the day Hinata turned sixteen, he wasn't surprised to find suitors outside his door asking for his permission to ask Hinata out. Sadly, for them they were sent home with lists of injuries.

Hiashi wasn't blind. He had the **byakugan** for goodness sake! So during his private sessions with Neji he wasn't surprised with his daughter's teammate's reaction to Hinata standing, fresh from the shower in a tight towel, showing curves and all... Okay they just stood there, listening to her apologise about forgetting there was training, but in Hiashi's defence he didn't trust the dog boy anyway and didn't know what the bug boy was thinking or looking at...he could be UNDRESSING her with his eyes! He had a rage fit after all three of them left, poor Neji was his victim.

Letting his little girl go was probably the hardest thing he had ever done. Looking at the two before him he realised two things...HE WANTED TO KILL NARUTO! and HE WOULD NOT LIVE PAST EIGHTEEN YEARS! Okay maybe he didn't really let her go at that second, it took being held back by the whole Hyuga family and being talked into realising that dating the 'future Hokage' wasn't all bad and that she's eighteen and not eight. After calming down he dismissed them, with a 'hurt my daughter and I will hurt you so bad that the Kyuubi and the fourth will feel it' he decided that if his daughter was happy to date and possibly later in life marry him, he'd be happy for her and possibly tell her one day that despite his actions towards her in the past he has _always_ loved her, but for now he's got one more girl left and he won't let go without a fight.

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**Cece:** Wow, this took me **ages **to write and so I was five days late for Hiashi-kun's b'day but I'm happy with what I produced. Review please.

Peace!

**Edit (14/1/08): I got the weirdest urge to do a sequel of Hinata's dates with Naruto and their wedding. Not sure though, I might write it so look out.**

**Edit (10/2/08): Edited and corrected this, finally got a chance to re-read it.**


	2. Thoughts on invading privacy

**Disc.:** I'm eating _chocolat blanc_. (White chocolate. Yum.)

**Note:** Yes, this is the continuation. Some OCC (understatement) but no one can say how Hiashi _really_ is like, but sadly my interpretation of Hiashi is quite far-fetched.

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Thoughts of a Hyuga father:

Thoughts on invading privacy.

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The Kyuubi brat and my precious daughter had been walking for a while and I had been spying –well more like making sure that she was safe but to others no matter how much I try to explain they would still consider this as spying– for the duration of their walk to where they were going for their –dare I say it– date.

I did not trust that boy completely (There's a bit of trust towards him but not enough to entrust my daughter's safety to him) but I do accept him as a possible son in law.

You see I'm not a very bad person.

I had said that I accepted Naruto, haven't I?

On the other hand, what is a father to do when his daughter starts dating? Dating could lead to marriage which could lead to babies. Did everyone not see this problem? Those vile, puking, pooping, so-called bundles of joy are the worst things that can happen to a man (women, not so much, they _love_ babies.) and I had **two**. To make it even worse, I had **two girls**. TWO GIRLS! Do you not know what that does to a man? (That was a rhetorical question but if you don't know the answer refer to the painful chapter 1.) I would not have grandchildren who I will have to sometimes look after when Hinata needs 'alone time (with Naruto)' or 'me time'. At the same time I'm saving the Uzumaki boy from the torture I went through. He should be grateful (!).

Future Hokage or not, I would not let this vicious cycle to continue; even if I have to hurt him.

They had reached the busier parts of Konoha which meant that I had to be more alert encase I lost sight of them (Note: he is so worried that he has forgotten that he possesses the byakugan). If that happened then my plan would fail and then what was I to do? Let her marry the buffoon? And dare I say it, HAVE BABIES WITH HIM?! The humiliation.

Babies with blue eyes, pale skin and bright blonde hair, walking into walls repeatedly as they still don't understand that they can't walk through walls and have to use the door like people with at least a few brain cells do. They would also make _friends_ with **Uchihas** and eat Ramen all the time in a disgraceful manner like their dad. I once saw the boy eat Ramen; he had _no_ table manners. And to top it all off my poor Hinata would have to go through giving birth to idiots and living in a home with such a family.

Big daddy Hyuga would most definitely not let that happen.

It was about five minutes later when they had stopped... outside the Ichiraku Ramen Stall.

_Idiot._

Why have a _decent_ –**healthy** –meal in a _decent_ restaurant when you can have noodles, packed full of sodium, in a small, pathetic stall?

Hyugas only have the best and accept _only_ the best.

I can see it now a wedding at Ichiraku Ramen with Ramen broth instead of Sake and three course meal of Ramen with a noodle cake as dessert.

If they ever got married, Hyugas would be seen as a laughing stock by other clans. The Uchihas would never let us live it down –though there's only one Uchiha at the moment who would laugh at us _at the moment_. That damned Uchiha brat. I know of his ideas to repopulate the clan as quick as possible. Soon there will be a whole family of Uchihas who would continue to reproduce. Great. I have nothing against his wife though; the Sakura girl has not done anything **yet**. Living with that Uchiha might change her attitude. Who knows.

Anyway. I watched them _contently_ from the building opposite the abomination of a restaurant whilst civilians and ninjas alike walked by. Though all of them always looked at me, then looked at the Uzumaki boy who I was glaring at, looked at me oddly first; confused as to why I was glaring, then with eyes full of either fear or shock or look at the boy with sadness or pity; since they had finally figured out why I was glaring at him and what could and _would_ happen to him and then briskly walking off to avoid being caught in the cross fire. They probably thought that I was going to do something un-Hiashi-like or appalling. I haven't done anything like that, all I've done is stalk Hinata –though, again, I would consider it as following her to make sure she's safe– around on her date.

Following my daughter around on her first date is not an invasion of her privacy. It's called being curious... and maybe over-protective.

The Uzumaki boy suddenly casually slung an arm around Hinata's shoulders grinning at her slightly to cover up his nervousness; though I still sensed it (HYUGAS KNOW AND SENSE ALL DAMMIT! That's what makes us _amazing_ ninjas).

Her face went slightly red in embarrassment.

My face went red in anger.

He murmured something against her right ear and then nuzzled her neck.

She went crimson.

Steam came out of my ears.

He then grabbed her chin and tilted her head upwards to face his directly.

Her breathing quickened –noticeable from the sharp in takes of breath causing her shoulders to tense and the quicker pace of her chest rising and falling.

My hand clenched into tight fist; my finger nails dug into my palms which were close to bleeding from the pressure and sharpness of my nails.

He leaned down, about to give her a kiss (her FIRST KISS! I could not let this happen!); their lips about to touch.

She stopped breathing.

My byakugan activated.

Their lips were getting closer.

She was still not breathing.

I was moving forward to attack.

He stopped moving forward and yelled, in his infuriating voice, "HINATA!"

She fainted.

I still attacked; my palm hitting him directly through his chest.

He fell off his seat.

And so did she.

I smirked at his unconscious body strewn on the floor; then looked down at Hinata's body and cursed myself for not catching her when the boy released his grip on her.

...I think she may need to go to the hospital...

...Her head did hit the ground quite hard...

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**Cece:** Seems like Hiashi-chan really didn't let her go. Her first date and first kiss ruined.

Since I wrote chapter one I've been getting messages every now and then asking me to do a sequel. I was very surprised to find that people were still reading it and adding it to their favourites. In conclusion (that sounds really essay-ish) this is for those who asked me for this. In my opinion it's not as good as chapter one (quality wise and length wise) but the original is always better!

Reviews will make me write a third chapter. I have ideas for another chapter... yes, that was a horrible attempt to bribe you all.


	3. Thoughts on hospitals

**Disc.:** I'm eating (puts on an English accent) _scones _with (puts on a French accent)_ chocolat blanc _chips. I made them myself in my food tech lesson (smiles).

**Summary:** Chap 3: Thoughts on hospitals: Who knows what could happen after hospital visiting hours? "Old man? Calm down. Put down the kunai. Deactivate your Byakugan. I've done nothing wrong, I was...er..." NaruHina.

**Note:** This 'thought' is straight/ soon after their first date. R&R.

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Thoughts of a Hyuga Father:

Thoughts on hospitals

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I had carried Hinata, and her (shudder) _boyfriend_, to the hospital and to my horror they were put in the same room!

If it weren't for the fact that I am not as strong as I used to be and not as young as I used to be (I refuse to say I am a weak old man) I would have carried Hinata to a different hospital... in a different village.

Who knows what could happen after hospital visiting hours?

That boy could take advantage of my poor, unconscious daughter.

Anyway.

After hours of arguing and another hour of being restrained, by nurses and the Hokage, for harming the boy, who woke up halfway through my _lecture_ and said some **things** about said _lecture_ (I was **not** 'ranting like a senile old man' which he proclaimed when he woke up), the Hokage knocked me out with her green glowing hands of medical ninjutsu** doom**. Seriously, no one can go up against the green glowing hand: it can kill.

Long story short, including a few Juken hits aimed for the boy and a few more hits from the Hokage aimed at me, I ended up in the same room as the both of them.

Monday: morning

"Psst. Old man."

I ignored him.

"Psst. Old man."

A vein on my forehead started to throb but I still ignored him.

_Thump_.

His pillow hit my head.

"Old man?"

I counted in my head to ten.

"OLD MAN!"

My fingernails dug into my palm.

"..."

He stopped talking and I tried to go back to sleep.

_Creak._

_Stomp._

_Stomp._

Damn. He's walking towards me.

"Old man?" _Pokes. Poke, poke._

He was poking my cheek. I wanted to hit him but I couldn't. Sadly, if I were to attack him Hokage-sama will, and I quote, 'have my head on a pike which will be stationed outside the Hyuga Manor as a reminder to the Hyuga clan that it is best to choose the head of the clan wisely'.

"HINATA-CHAN! MEDIC-NINS! ANYBODY! OLD MAN IS DEAD!"

_Grabs Hiashi by the shoulders_

_Shakes Hiashi_ –**Hard.**

"**I'M ALIVE YOU IMBOCILE!**"

"WAAAA! —"

_Cough._

_Choke._

_Gurgle._

"Otou-sama, what are you doing to Naruto-kun?"

Great.

"Err..."

Hinata looked at me from across the room as I had the boy in a headlock.

How do I make her believe that I am not choking him?

Tuesday: night

"Hinata-chan?"

Does the boy ever stay quiet?

"Hai, Naruto-kun?"

"I never got to give you your kiss at the ramen stall."

_Shuffle._

Is he going to do what I think he's going to do?

"B-but my f-father–"

" –He won't get me this time! He's quite a deep sleeper. Remember yesterday morning? I had to shake him to get him to wake up."

_Thump._

Will he carry out the act that couples take part in?

_Thump._

I have to do something –

_Thump._

Before –

_Thump._

He –

_Thump._

Kisses –

_Creak._

Her –

"**UZUMAKI!"**

The boy whips his head around to face me.

"O-old man!"

The boy had only gotten as far as perching on the edge of her bed.

"Old man? –I mean, Hiashi-sama? Whoa. Calm down. Put down the kunai. Deactivate your Byakugan. I've done nothing wrong, I was...er..."

She was still safe.

But he wasn't.

Wednesday: morning

I was kicked out of hospital.

Hinata came home with me, though she has to go to the hospital everyday for a week for her checkups.

The boy has life threatening injuries and has to have multiple operations.

I still claim that have no idea how he got those injuries so that I can escape Hokage-sama's wrath.

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**Cece:** Did you know that if you kiss your spouse every night for a year it is the equivalent to having both your lips compressed for twelve days? I find that both really cute and slightly disturbing.

Adding me and this story to your favourites and alerts make me happy, but your reviews make me happier. (I **really** _**need**_ constructive criticism for this chapter.)


	4. Thoughts on second chances

**Disc.:** _There's the right way, the wrong way and my way... which is the wrong way but faster._ Homer is my idol.

**Summary:** Chap 4: Thoughts on second chances: The crime: is guilty of attacking . The verdict: Letting and go on a second date without interfering... MWAHAHAHA.

**Notes:** Hiashi's trying to put things right. Aw. R&R, please. Important A/N and 'Update schedule' at the end.

Thoughts of a Hyuga Father:

Thoughts on second chances.

I curse the person who created chakra seals.

The Hokage purposely hid some in the room to check if flares of my chakra were released in the room. Sadly, it turned out that despite denying that I harmed the boy there was unbeatable evidence against me.

Great.

During the case, the Hokage was the judge and I almost instantly seen as guilty. I had only a small chance of winning to begin with but when it turned out that she was the judge all hope was lost.

The following is a short extract from my case file:

The crime: Hyuga Hiashi is guilty of attacking fellow Shinobi, Uzumaki Naruto, despite warnings of not harming the latter. The latter's injuries were severe and has only survived due to the impressive healing abilities of our glorious, beautiful, wonderful, amazing, magnificent and brave Hokage, Tsunade-sama... and the healing abilities of the Hokage's apprentice Haruno Sakura who is amazing but not as amazing as me –I mean Hokage-sama, and the Kyubi.

The verdict: Letting Uzumaki Naruto and Hyuga Hinata go on a second date without interfering... MWAHAHAHA.

This is a word for word copy of what was written down.

It's not hard to guess who wrote this, well re-wrote this.

I questioned Hokage-sama about who wrote it (the way Hokage-sama was described made me think hard about what kind of person wrote it and what kind of legal system Konoha has. In the end I concluded that she wrote it herself and Konoha is corrupt).

She told me that the original copy written by her assistant was ruined by some accidentally spilt sake and she decided in her sobering state, but _please_ note that her head was still in a drunken fog, to write a new one. Oddly enough, I believe her story. She's always drunk and she always has sake; it all makes sense.

So now I'm under house arrest until Hinata gets back from her second date with, _ugh_, Naruto.

_Ding, dong._

"I will get it Otou-sama," a soft voice which could only belong to Hinata, called out, penetrating through the door of my study.

"HEY HINATA-CHAN!"

"Eep."

I could hear a thudding noise and an embarrassed, "Gomen."

My door creaked open slowly and Hinata poked her head in meekly, "Otou-sama, we're leaving now."

I could see the back of the head of the Uzumaki boy behind her, seemingly talking to Neji, who was surprisingly not glaring at him in return. I think I need to talk to Neji about this later; all Hyugas should be cold at all times to strangers in our home, especially that boy who is trying to steal Hinata away and corrupt her mind and take away her innocence and...

I could only answer Hinata with a cautious 'fine'.

If only I could follow them or get someone else to.

It was only until I was taking a shower, and had slipped on my bar of soap which I accidentally dropped and proceeded onto hitting my head on the sink, quite hard I admit, that I realised who could follow them.

"Neji!"

After chasing him around the house and cornering him in the Hyuga library I managed to tell him my glorious, full proof plan and order him to do it but sadly in return I got a "PUT ON A TOWEL!" followed with a "GOUGE OUT MY EYES SOMEBODY. KAMI-SAMA, WHY MUST YOU HATE ME! WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS" which was then followed with a "I CAN NEVER LOOK AT YOU THE SAME WAY!" then followed with me putting on a towel and Neji declining since he had a mission in a few hours... and some 'much needed therapy', as he put it, after his mission.

Mentally scaring the young is fun.

You should try it.

"Bye Hinata-chan! I would walk you up to your door but I'm afraid of your dad."

"It's okay Naruto-kun."

They were standing outside, on the other side of the Hyuga gates; sadly, I was not allowed anywhere outside of the Hyuga manor.

And then it was as if time had stopped.

He leaned down, she looked up and I ran outside the comfort (and safety) of my house and towards the gate.

And as their lips met, I put one foot outside of the Hyuga Manor boundary and was rapidly drained of chakra and collapsed.

"Is he okay?"

"I think so."

I felt light-headed as I came out of the abyss of unconsciousness. I opened my eyes but quickly closed them again due to the sharp sting in eyes from the bright light in the room which then resulted to the dull ache in my head.

I groaned in pain.

"Hey old man is awake."

Ugh. The boy was here. My mood was getting better and better.

"Otou-sama..."

Opening my eyes again (but not without squinting to get y eyes re-adjusted to the light) I was greeted by a pair of teary, opal with a hint of lavender (pupil-less) eyes.

(_And the concern in Hinata's voice made Hiashi's heart grow three times as big (with emotion) and everything was right in the world (except for rape, killing, abortions, knife and gun crime, terrorist, life and the fact that they _**kissed**_. Oh yeah, and Christmas, Boxing day, Christmas Eve, New year's eve, New year's day, Chinese new year, Hanukah, the Sabbath, Easter, Halloween, the Fourth of July, any other public holiday . . . were saved__)._

_This is all true you know._)

Anyway, a second later I was faced with the bright blue eyes.

If I could move my body I would do some illegal things to him.

**Cece: **I'm happy with this chapter. On the other hand, I'm not happy with the start I tried to make on the next and it's all because I'm having a little (solvable) problemo.

Here's a little preview on what it's about: Thoughts on meeting the family. Yes Neji makes an appearance (Inner Neji fangirl pushes other Inner fangirls away before shouting: WOOT!)

...and so does Hanabi... (_cough_. Looks out the window with a dull expression.) ... yeah... seriously we don't get to see her at all so I can't really harbour any feelings towards her.


	5. Thoughts on meeting family

**Edit: 27/7/08**. There were so many horrendous mistakes I **had **to edit it as soon as possible.

**Disc.:** I made strawberry and cream muffins whilst listening to Aerosmith. YAYS!

**Summary:** Chap 5: In which and Naruto learns what _escargot_ (snails) is the hard way.

**Note:** Long chapter packed with **more **than your daily helpings of funny ahead: take in small doses; also points of view changing may cause brain overload. Warning: long Author Note. Half of it (or most of it) won't make a difference to anyone's life so you don't have to read it.

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Thoughts of a Hyuga Father:

Thoughts on meeting the family.

* * *

This was the day that will better or break our relationship.

Eating dinner with Hinata's family.

_Cue scary music._

To make it worse we aren't going to be eating Ramen!

_Insert me crying –_**manly**_ –dramatic tears in the corner._

To make sure that I attend the dinner, Sakura-chan and Sasuke-teme are escorting me there.

Well, dragging me there whilst I scream at them to let me go.

(No matter what the Teme says I am **not** screaming like a girl... _sniff, sniff_... I'm not.)

Despite what I say they won't let me go.

So what if I had a little panic attack and went Kyubi a bit so that I could fight anyone who tried to force me to go, does that mean that they (well, mostly Sakura-chan with her scary monstrous strength. The Teme is just walking behind us, watching as I desperately try to escape.) have to _drag_ me there?

"Sakura-chan. You can let me go now. I promise I'll go. No Kyubi attack or anything like that."

"Naruto," her sweet voice, eh? Is she really thinking this over and deciding that she should be nice to me?, "NO!" Guess not. My jutsu didn't work. Damn and I thought _the eyes _jutsu would work. You all know what eyes jutsu I'm talking about.

The 'I'm-Naruto-and-I'm-so-cute-and-you-must-submit-to-my-demands-as-my-puppy-eyes-pwn-all' no jutsu.

It works every time. Who can not feel touched by them?

"Naruto, your freakish eye thing won't work on her," Sasuke-teme commented (note to self: get Sasuke-teme later for insulting my third ultimate nin-jutsu) with Sakura-chan agreeing with an "I pretty invented it; your knock-off can't even rival the original."

"Teme, **come **_**on!**_ Help me! Feel sorry for me! What about when you went to eat dinner with Sakura-chan's parents? _Who_ **helped** you escape? _**Who**_ was **there** for _you_?"

"No one."

"Wait. WHAT? I helped, along with Sai-teme, Yamato-taicho, Kakashi-sensei, Hinata-chan, Kiba, Shino, Neji, Tenten, Lee, Ino, Shikamaru and Chouji. But I helped the most!"

"No. You did the exact opposite. You were the one who ambushed me in my own house, called everyone who you just listed to help you in making sure I went, tied me to a tree with the help of Kiba, Shikamaru and Neji –I still need to get them back for that –

...

– Somewhere else in Konoha, three Jonins, who are parting ways after successfully completing a mission, shudder.

"Did you guys feel that?"

"Yes. Troublesome."

"I think it was fate for us to feel that."

"Or that we've done something wrong and someone's plotting their revenge as we speak. Though no one can defeat me. I'm Kiba!"

"I think it's Uchiha."

"Me too. It's not like we've been on good terms with him anyway. Right Akamaru!"

"Woof!"

"Both of you are troublesome. It's quite cold tonight and this place exposes us to it."

"Being cold is a sign of weakness. Hyugas are not weak."

"Yeah and we're ninjas. We don't get cold, we've faced worse before!"

"Troublesome."

A day later Shikamaru found out that Kiba and Neji were right; Sasuke was plotting their revenge the night before and had carried it out, successfully, the next morning. –

...

–and then you got Kakashi to use his Sharingan to show me, 'the horrors of meeting my new parents-in-law'. Think of this as payback dobe."

"I HATE YOU!..." _scratches head_, "wait! You said more than two words?"

The surrounding villagers and ninjas alike froze waiting for confirmation (and hoping) that their ears did indeed fail them and the avenger was still being his usual one to two word speaking self, or that they heard Naruto incorrectly.

"...S-s-sasuke-kun y-y-you..." sharp intake of breath from Sakura whilst villagers wait in suspense to see whether their Cherry Blossom would agree with their bumbling-Hokage-to-be, "YOU SAID MORE THAN TWO WORDS!"

_Insert panicking villager and ninjas_.

"IT'S THE APOCOLYPSE!"

"SAVE YOURSELFS!"

"I'M TOO YOUNG TO DIE!"

Everyone freezes again and turns to the man who said that. One brave ninja decided to speak.

"Wait. What? You're the oldest person in the village!"

"...so?..." _shifty eyes_ "...respect your elders?..."

Everyone resumes to what they were doing or screaming?

"I WANT MY MUMMY!"

"YOU'RE AN ANBU CAPTAIN YOU DON'T NEED YOUR MUM TO SAVE YOU!"

"AYAME SAVE THE INSTANT RAMEN BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE! THE INSTANT RAMEN!"

"SOMEONE SAVE THE PORN! SOMEONE THINK OF THE PORN! THE PORN! THE PO–"

_Smack_.

"JIRAIYA-SAMA I'VE PREPARED FOR SOMETHING LIKE THIS! THE PORN IS SAFE!"

Teary eyed Jiraiya: "KAKASHI!"

Equally tear eyed (1) Kakashi: "JIRAIYA-SAMA!"

"KAKASHI!"

"JIRAIYA-SAMA!"

"KAKASHI!"

"JIRAIYA-SAMA!"

Jiraiya and Kakashi hug with stars in their eyes as a porn dedication mural is revealed behind them and a banner hangs over them, which reads: 'Porn lovers unite!' Random villagers and ninjas, all holding a copy of Icha Icha Tactics, watch their leader and co-founder, Jiraiya, and second in command and co-founder, Kakashi, of the SLOPLA(2) (Super League of Porn Lovers Association) during their... moment.

After a moment of disgust over watching my two perverted sensei's hug and shock over the fact that Sasuke-teme happened to be a part of SLOPLA (he's third in command, who knew? I will join this association and beat Sasuke-teme in ranking! HA! TAKE THAT TEME!), Sakura-chan and I continued our journey to the Hyuga manor.

"So Naruto. How are you?"

The awkwardness was unbearable.

"Um. Fine?"

Was the boy ever told never to answer a question with another question? Obviously not.

"Tou-san, good afternoon. Oh. Uzumaki-san, you're presence surprised me. You see, I didn't expect you to come."

Despite how innocent those words sounded there was a bite to them; in other words Hanabi was mocking him. I think I love her even more now (**Cece:** ?). Maybe Hanabi and I could rub off our dislike (more like hate) for Naruto on Hinata and bring her over to the dark.

_Evil laughter from Hiashi_.

I mean, _our _side (_cough_)... yeah...I'm not evil... okay, only when it comes to the boy. Anyway, Hinata will join us or I will die trying to convince her to.

Speaking of my other daughter, she just walked in the room with Neji.

"I trust that you've both talked to the chef about tonight, right?" I didn't bother to see their reaction or listen for their answer, "Well I think it would be best to move into the dining room."

I wonder if Neji recovered from our previous, _ahem_, encounter.

I knew that Hyugas were rich but this was ridiculous.

The huge chandelier was made out of _real_ diamonds.

The large table (seriously, it is exceedingly long. Conversations can't be held across it. People would have to use phones!)had _**gold**_ _cutlery _placed elegantly across it.

The gigantic, gold head chair (the frame was gold. _**GOLD!**_) under the painting of the old man (when he didn't have wrinkles. _Snigger_.) whom, in the painting is standing on a mountain in a dramatic, I-am-better-than-you-but-I-won't-say-it-because-it's-obvious, pose with the sun behind him, creating a flame-like scenery behind him. I think the sun is supposed to represent the clan (you know, Hyuga means 'towards the sun').

The lavish array of fruits along the table, except in the middle.

And in the middle of the table was a Hyuga shrine?

This is all over the top.

This was all probably decorated to shove it in their guests' faces that they're richer. Damn Hyuga Bastards, trying to act all big when they're not. I wasn't impressed at all when I walked in. All I did was glance over the room and continued to follow Hinata to my seat (which is on the right of old man's seat) and sat down.

"Naruto, stop gawking in the doorway and go to your seat."

Damn, Neji.

"So, what are those things on your face?"

I always thought that Hanabi was probably a stuck up child, seeing that old man always favoured her over Hinata, but so far she seemed like a nice-

"Because they're so weird. Are you part human and part wolf?"

Ignore the previous statement; I've been corrected.

Is old man smirking at her?

Is that a smirk I see her returning?

I think old man taught her over things apart from nin-jutsu.

Surprisingly the idiot managed to get through the starters okay.

And when we chose our main meals he didn't even get the chef to make ramen despite my attempts to persuade him to (if he were to go for the ramen I would deem him un-approvable to date Hinata).

So far he's passed the first test: ordering _actually_ **nutritious** food.

But he won't get the next test: eating the food.

Why?

He foolishly ordered _escargot_ (3).

And he has no idea what it is though he claims that he eats it 'all the time'.

Big daddy isn't fooled.

His life purpose (in my opinion) is to only eat ramen, **everyday**. I wouldn't be surprised if his blood contained ramen broth.

"Hiashi-sama. Hinata-sama. Hanabi-san. Neji-san ...Naruto-san. Voila: your food."

This was not what I expected.

This is not food!

"Naruto-kun, are you okay?" aw, my Hinata-chan worrying about me like always.

Too bad it brought everyone's attention towards me.

"What's wrong? I thought you eat _escargot_ all the time."

I see, old man wants me to back down. I know his game: if I back down, he will deem me unworthy of dating Hinata-chan and I can't let that happen. Hinata-chan is important to me.

"I'm fine," he looks taken back, maybe it's because I'm challenging him at his own game or the fact that I hissed those two words. Now it's time to really mess with him, "it's just that when I eat it, it's at a better standard than this. Seems like your Hyuga chefs aren't that great."

Victory.

Hiashi: 3. Me: 2.

Okay he's still winning the war but I've won the battle this time.

To make my statement final I pushed my plate further towards the middle of the table.

This is impossible.

THE IDIOT IS WINNING!

He's now one point away, he couldn't have caught up so soon.

Looking over the table I noticed Neji was watching the whole thing amusedly. If it weren't for the fact that he was too much of a genius to be considered a _true_ branch member, I would insist that he do something as it is what he were born to do; protect the main branch family.

If only he weren't a genius.

"Tou-san why are you twitching?"

Hanabi, the only daughter who was on my side, is turning against me: she's smirking **and** she just high-fived the boy after her scratchy comment.

Guess it's time for me to redeem myself.

Raising one (perfectly. Hyugas are perfect in every way) arched brow I said, "Well, how about tasting it before you dismiss it."

Hinata looked apprehensive, but that is expected of her due to her kind nature.

"Fine," he replied with a twinkle of success in his eyes.

I could do this.

If I took just one bite and swallowed I would win this battle and maybe even the war.

Bring my fork down onto one of the brown shells which looked oddly familiar I speared it and heard a very clear _crunch_. It wasn't as soft as ramen but it didn't look that bad. Looking underneath the brown shell, I had speared, I realised that it had something gooey inside so I decided to use a spoon to scoop the shell and the gooey insides since the fork might lose all the inside flavour. With the _escargot_ on my spoon I took one look at the old man (but not without giving him one of my wolfish smirks to compliment my handsome face) and then ate it.

Chewing on it thoughtfully I analyzed it the taste and texture and even compared it to ramen. My conclusion: it wasn't that bad, so I took some more.

Halfway through my plate old man chuckled.

This was too good.

He fell for my trap.

Knowing that he had no clue what _escargot_ really is was what made my plan possible, all that I had to do was get the timing right.

The boy put his spoon down, looking satisfied.

The time was now.

"Ah," he turned to me, "I see that you liked the snails," his face drained of all colour.

Damn that old man!

"Hey Naruto, Hinata," Sakura-chan said, greeting us also with a hug. Hinata-chan and I decided to go out for some ramen at Ichiraku Ramen Stall, after I emptied the contents of my stomach on the Hyuga dining room floor, and it turned out that Sakura-chan and Sasuke-teme had decided to have a late dinner too.

"Dobe, how did it go?"

I didn't miss his mocking tone and smirk.

"Shut up, teme."

* * *

**Cece:** Okay, this is another long A/N and I apologise though I wrote a long chapter to make up for it. Firstly, it was Sasuke's birthday yesterday (which was the day this was supposed to be uploaded) which is why I decided to add him in this chapter (and ended up making fun of him). It felt like I was writing the first chapter all over again because it took long to write and it was a character dedication for the character's birthday which I upload a few days late (the first chapter was written for Hiashi-kun's birthday.).

Now it's time for me to do something I've never done before due to my laziness... responding to your reviews (and thanking you for them).

Without further ado I would like to say thank you to:

Sailor Winx, totalnarutofangirl85 and Mew-Sahara** (I would like to say thanks to all three of you for being there from the beginning!)**

Chewie Cookies **(I wouldn't be surprised either if it really was a drug but despite the whole name thing it still tastes nice.)**, nanihigarashii13 **(Who knows I might put more of Neji and his point of view.)**, DarthManwe, gaaras-babygirl91, HiN4-cH4n, Tw33ty Jr, Maki-Zushi, Nei eh, l.l., hana-chwaaan, loki09 aka ttre208**(Your review scared me slightly...rabid ninja bunnies, LMAO!)**, paranoidbychoice **(I love your pen name!)**, kawaiiitahina123, Adelaide 'Adell' Peirce, DualHunters, Shadow's Tenchi **(I see what you're saying and I think it's the fact that I compare everything to chapter one which I believe completely is the best which makes it so that I'm quick to insult and judge the other chapters unfairly. I'll take your advice to stop that from happening.)**, Pyroprogrammer, FirstBlush **(Yeah, I thought it would be nice to share with others. Also there will be more chapters to come since I've actually attempted and **_**succeeded**_** to plan them out. That's a huge shocker. I'm the Queen of procratination.)**, GravityTheWizard, piratequeen11, Titan6 **(Thanks for the encouragement but sadly I don't live in America but in Britain where the SATs depend on further, more important exams. Luckily the information below shows some good news about my SATs results.) **and PersonalBento **(Thanks for the review and I'll hopefully get around to proof reading soon.)**.

**Updating notes for this chapter:** I updated quickly, ne? Well my SATs results are being delayed until September. **HELL YEAH!** (opens a bottle of non-alcoholic champagne). More info here, if anyone is interested about why: www. news. /1/ hi/ education / (remove random spaces)

(1) I'm confused. Kakashi only has one eye. Meh, I'll leave it like that.

(2) The 'Super League of Porn Lovers' is the name of the association. It is not considered a league (even though a league and association are the same thing) but rather an association. To make it easier for those who don't understand what I'm going on about they thought that the word 'league' would be cool to use in the title but wanted a more mature name other then league to describe what type of group they are thus 'association' is at the end... I think I've confused people more.

(3) _Escargot_ is French for cooked snail served still in its shell with melted garlic butter. Nice. (sarcasm implied.) I wanted him to eat something foreign , that way he wouldn't know what it is and then makes a fool of himself.


	6. Thoughts on fiances

**Disc.:** Meh. I think you all know who owns Naruto... me! No, seriously now, it's Kishi-dono's (1).

**Summary:** The protective big daddy with a daughter complex vs. the idiot. The prize: Hinata. Naruto better say his prayers; he has no chance against Hiashi. (I changed the summary!)

**Note:** Another important and long author note (about updating). Don't know what is with me and my author notes recently. I blame the heat (...yeah that's it.); I never liked summer.

* * *

Thoughts of a Hyuga Father

Thoughts on Fiancés.

* * *

"Old man, I know we haven't been on good terms recently... actually AT ALL!"

The boy had invited me to discuss important things over ramen. And I agreed to his proposal. In hopes that he was either:

a) Really a women and wants to break up with Hinata since it's not fair to her.

b) Has an incurable disease and was to die soon so he wants to break up with Hinata since it's not fair to her.

c) Gay and secretly going out with the Uchiha who we all know is married to the medic Sakura as a ploy to make us believe that he is straight and wants to rebuild his clan with a women and not a man (though the latter is impossible since a man can't give birth. Getting a woman to have their child is another option though and so is adoption). Because of this he wants break up with Hinata since it's not fair to her.

d) Or all of the above.

"which is why I want to throw away the scores-"

I am definately NOT throwing away at the score board which is happily, hung in the entrance of the compound to show all who dare entre, the 51-3 lead I have against the boy.

"-and propose a truce since we aren't going to make Hinata happy this way. Right?"

His eye-no-jutsu is an insulting technique to use on someone such as myself (and disturbing) but he does speaks wise words. It seems it is now my time to talk: "yes, though I hate to admit it, Naruto, what you have said sounds good to me."

And we shook hands.

Finally, closure.

And for the next few weeks we got along well, surprisingly.

We trained together, taunted Neji and Sasuke and went camping.

I spent more time with him than Hinata did; Hinata was obviously not happy with the fact that I took all of Naruto's time but she needs to get over it, suck it up and learn to share.

She actually did the opposite when I ordered her to do all of that and even started to scheme.

I read her plans before she put them into action so when she started 'Operation: take Naruto away from my father so that I can have him for myself' it fell apart.

Mine and Naruto's friendship can't be broken!

Then one winter day whilst I was putting away my 'My Best Friend Naruto' album, said best friends entered my office with Hinata in tow both looking grim.

"Hiashi, my buddy, we've been having fun lately... _but_," this isn't sounding good already. Is he breaking up with me? "I'm here to ask for Hinata-chan's hand," Yes, he's not ending our friendship and... **oh, dear lord**. He's not asking what I think he's asking, "in marriage."

No matter how many times you replay the scene or how many times he rephrases his words, the outcome will be the same; I snapped.

Screw our friendship!

Insert Hinata doing a victory dance with a proclaimation of, 'having her boyfriend to herself again'.

Someone needs to get the score board ready, it will soon be 52-3 to me.

In less than ten minutes I had showed the boy the full potential of the Byakugan.

It was later on when he was in hospital I was sent to court where the Hokage was the judge, again.

It goes without saying that her corrupt court gave me a bogus punishment: I had to say yes to the boy and Hinata's engagement.

Joy.

* * *

**Cece:** I haven't updated in a while and I have reasons for that. I've been busy. Busy doing what you ask?

Well.

I learnt that old ladies in Supermarkets are evil; I learnt this lesson twice in less than two months thanks to two queue jumping old women... I think the next time I'm in the checkout queue I'll keep my eyes open for them (or punch one if one dares to. I'm not joking. My Uncle who teaches kick boxing has taught me some things.), I'm still a Ren/Len Tao (from Shaman King) fan girl, it's best for one to PMS in the comfort of one's home (and not in school where I have no choice but to brood and glower. _And I do it well!_) especially when one's dad is having his holiday the same time as his daughter (slave!) and the aforementioned bought me the Naruto manga series out as of July (1-30, though 31 is probably out now since one comes out once a month).

Yep. I am a busy girl.

(1) –Dono. This comes from the word 'tono' which means 'lord'. It is even a higher level then '–sama' and confers utmost respect.


	7. Thoughts on planning weddings

**Disc.:** Standard disclaimer applies.

**Summary:** The protective big daddy vs. the idiot. The prize: Hinata. Naruto better say his prayers; he has no chance against Hiashi.

* * *

Thoughts of a Hyuga Father:

Thoughts on Planning Weddings.

* * *

"...and for the main meal we will serve..." Naruto paused to giggle; I proceeded to add to my 'Why Naruto is no good for my daughter' list. Seriously, a grown man of his age giggles? I have never met another twenty one year old acting so disgraceful. "...RAMEN!"

Oh dear lord.

Ramen at their wedding?

A wedding the _whole_ Hyuga clan is going to bear witness to.

I'll be the laughing stock of my _**own**_ clan.

"Isn't it great old man? Even Hinata said that it was a unique choice."

Beside him Hinata gave me a pleading look.

So far my daughter and the buffoon have shown me a presentation on everything they think is needed for their wedding (though I doubt Hinata came up with any of the suggestions). As I'm person paying for their wedding, I have quite a lot of say in what will happen and ramen as a main course is a definite **no**.

The boy's wacky ideas have ranged from an orange suit to a drunkard priest (aka Tsunade-sama) but the ramen idea is where I have to stop him before he ruins the Hyuga name.

"So what do you think, old man?"

Hinata changed to pleading eyes 2.0 with a small, squeaked out 'Otou-sama'.

"No."

Hinata relaxed as the boy stiffened, eyes watering.

"B-but old man –"

"– no. I will not allow any of these suggestions occur. You've completely chewed up, spit out then excreted on the spat out remains of the foundations and standards of a normal wedding; you've done worse to a Hyuga's expectation for a wedding."

"Well!" he grabbed the clipboard and pulled Hinata to his side, "we will have this wedding we planned whether you like it or not! We don't need your money! For now Hinata will be staying with me because I know that she feels the same way about how you've treated our planning! And my – I mean _our _– ideas are brilliant and– "

"– **NARUTO-KUN YOUR IDEAS ARE TERRIBLE!**"

I have never felt this much pride and love for Hinata ever before.

"Hinata-chan... why?" Yes I smell a lover's tiff approaching. The wedding will be called off in less than ten minutes. I should get out the champagne!

"This is not what I wanted. I'm sorry." Wait. Why's **my** Hinata apologising to him?

"It's okay, I guess I was going overboard and you didn't want to hurt my feelings," he put down the clipboard and encircled his arm around her waist whilst dipping his head closer to hers, "I should be the one apologising to you, my Hinata-chan."

And with a complete disregard as to whether I was still in the room, they kissed or shall I say he slammed his lips on to hers and started to practically devour her lips. I heard the kids call this "making out"...

"Tou-san have you seen my..." my poor Hanabi. She's too young to see such a thing! Too innocent! "Looks like I'll be an Aunt soon, but I don't think they'd get it on here."

Get it on?

Get **what** on?

Naruto's brain?

God knows that it needs to be switched on.

Insert a chuckle from Hiashi.

Insert Hiashi thinking to himself: _Good one Hiashi. I truly am a genius._

Insert a concerned Hanabi questioning her father's state of mind whilst backing away slowly. Very, very slowly.

* * *

**Cece:** Hiashi and slang. Not good together. No worries he will find out eventually (next chapter) what Hanabi meant. I'm happy that I added at least a bit of fluff though ruined it by adding that devour comment.

I think this is a chapter I will remember the most: my first ever beta-ed chapter.

Beta note: And how honoured I am to be able to do it. :'D

Beta: Mew-Sahara. Thank you!

Review?


	8. Thoughts on shopping

**Disc.:** I'd rather own the Disney movie _Hercules_ at the moment. (A little rant (that is soooooooo dripping with sarcasm) – aka the Once Every Chapter Rant of Cece – in the author note. **Contains spoilers.**)

* * *

Thoughts of a Hyuga Father

Thoughts on Shopping

* * *

"What do you think of this one? I absolutely **love** it! It matches my eyes!"

"Ino-pig, the dress doesn't fit the colour theme."

"Well Hinata could always change it!"

"No, she won't! It's her wedding, not yours!"

"Fine, **forehead**. We'll see what Hinata has to say."

These eccentric witches and part time gold diggers have rounded on my poor Hinata!

This is why I would never have friends (or speak to my old ones). Friends are a hassle, family is even worse if one belongs to an important clan.

Hm, I think the life lesson is to only trust your parents and offspring. Though there might be some exceptions there.

"Okay, okay. Leave Hinata alone, guys. Sakura, stop provoking Ino, and Ino... stop drooling on the dress," Salvation! And all in the form of a bun haired kunoichi, "We are wearing purple at the wedding. Not blue."

The two kunoichi on the receiving end of the lecture nodded.

Hinata came out of the changing room in one of the many dressed picked out to choose from.

Ino squealed.

Sakura gaped.

Tenten was close to tears.

And I was furious.

The dress was too curve-hugging in my opinion.

Too much cleavage exposed and not enough material used to cover her body.

She might as well just wear a mini skirt and a bra at her wedding.

In my hazy fog of anger I was slightly aware of the blonde haired witch's proclamation; "When the baka sees you in that dress he will be **very** eager for the ceremony to end, just so that you two can get it on!"

Get in on?

I never actually found out what it meant.

"Ino, such profanities in front of the blushing bride and her father!"

Profanities?

Is the bun haired angel suggesting that that term is rude in some sort?

"Tenten, Ino's right, the dress is so beautiful and so perfect that Naruto will not be able to keep her hands off of her. The honeymoon might come early."

Wait.

Rewind. Play: 'Ino's right.'

Fast forward. Play: 'The honeymoon might come early.'

Something in my mind snapped.

...

"Hinata, why does your dad seem mad?"

...

"Is he activating the Byakugan?"

...

"That aura's... s-smothering... it's almost like when Sasuke-kun finds out that we have no more tomatoes."

...

"Otou-sama?"

...

"... Where did he go?"

"I don't know, Tenten, I blinked and he was gone!"

...

"Ooooh, Naruto is going to die!"

"Ino-pig!"

"What!... Oh, my bad... Don't worry Hinata we'll get tissues soon enough, and then we'll mourn Naruto properly!"

Sniffle.

"Hinata, she didn't mean it. He'll live. Your dad's attempted to kill him so many times before and he's still alive."

"That's right, Ino-pig doesn't know what she's saying!"

Silence

"... so can I get the blue dress then?"

* * *

**Cece:** I've been too busy to respond to your reviews so I apologize for that.

The rant: I am **in love** and have always **loved** that movie. _Le sigh_. They never make Disney movies like that anymore. When I see my little cousins watching High School Musical and 3D animated movies I start to feel old. (I shall remain a 90s kid **forever**. _Death to the 2000s! The years filled with crises! Seriously, the news has been more depressing the last few years._)

Naruto (not him, the anime. He's the only character I like at the moment) is getting on my nerves. I stopped watching after the Gaara rescue saga but tried watching it recently. I went on to watch Soul Eater and Shaman King when I realized it was a filler (half a minute after I pressed play) and they added a new character. **Who the hell is Sorna?... Snorer?... Sori?** I'll just call him the new guy. Now why I don't live the manga as much: Why does Karin live! Why! What is her purpose! When I saw her on fire I was like _yes! The annoying Pre-Time-Skip-Sakura-like fan girl shall die! I love you Kishi-dono, you're a genius!_ Then she was saved. **(Edit: (2/7/2010) I like her now. Ironic . . . or is it?)**

For now I shall (try to) have some faith and continue reading the manga but I shall never watch the anime again. Again!

Leave a review. I would like to see what you guys think of Naruto at the moment.


	9. Thoughts on bonding: part 1

**Disc.:** Me no own, you no sue. Comprende?

**Note:** In Naruto's POV 'cause he **deserves** it. Review replies! (see A/N)

This is now proof read.

* * *

Thoughts of a Hyuga Father

Thoughts on Bonding Part 1 (Third time's the charm!)

* * *

It's no secret the Hiashi hates me, and the same feeling is reciprocated...

How did you know I didn't mean it?

_Sigh_ ...Right, right, I'm Naruto and I am kind hearted, dattebayo.

Wait! What about the Akatsuki? I **hated** them with _passion_.

... That's true, that was a different circumstance so it's not the same.

Anyway, I'm not on fond terms with Hiashi, but I love Hinata so I have to make it work, right? (Don't act surprised, I do think things through.) So I've decided to try and regain that bond we had in chapter 6. It should be easy since Hiashi and I want her to be happy so he'd do anything to ensure that, right? If we get along then I'm killing two birds with one stone: getting his **true** blessing and making Hinata-chan happy.

I really want his blessing.

Don't laugh.

I'm **serious**.

I miss those days where we made fun of Neji and Teme; those days are forever printed in my mind and in my 'My Best Friend Hiashi' photo album… _sigh_.

So far I've tried a number of things to get us to bond but I've ended up in hospital each time, so I've learned valuable lessons like make sure he's clothed when making a surprise attack because no one wants to see his goodies.

(And no, you Hiashi-fangirls, I won't get you pictures... I'm saving you from the terror.)

When Neji found me, passed out in a bush next to my own vomit, he was nice enough to give me a psychiatrist's phone number who had helped him through a similar time; Neji actually went with me for my appointment. I feel as if we have an understanding.

Teme laughed when he found out and even taught his mini-me to call me a 'dobe'. I'm now known as 'Unca Wobe'... his mini-me's D's sound like W's. It's quite cute except for the fact he practically _is _Teme, with his looks and personality. I say he's going to inherit Teme's evil traits, Hinata-chan says I "shouldn't be mean" and "Sakura's his oka-san after all, so he'll inherit good manners... I hope".

Speaking of Hinata-chan I need to get back to the matter at hand.

All my attempts have failed, even my latest one to invite him to my stag party.

He refused my invitation in **such** a _nice_ way!

(Sarcasm intended)

Poisoned ramen on my stag night feast? I saw that coming! I did not eat the ramen because I'm a GR8 NEEN-JA, FOSHIZZLE MA HOMIES! (Sasuke: No, Naruto. Just, no. Naruto: Go away.) Ignore him. Anyway, HIASHI CAN'T KILL ME! I'M THE BEST!

...

Okay, fine. Chouji might have eaten all the food before anyone else could.

I feel sort of to blame.

Sadly he won't make the wedding... but at least the food bill will be smaller without him there! (Ha!)

By the way, there **will** be ramen on the wedding dinner menu; some expensive, savoury delicacy had to be crossed off the menu to make room for my ramen. I love Hinata-chan for changing her mind after I begged her mercilessly to agree with me.

Hey, I know what you're thinking. I'm not being selfish; all I wanted was to have at least one of my ideas to be put into action... the suit is a work-in-progress at the moment.

So to sum everything up and end this 'prologue' of some sort, since this is a two-shot (**1**), I will now go on to explain how I managed to get Hiashi to at least stop hating me (getting him to like me will take longer) in a bonding technique used throughout the ages. This has bonded and reconnected so many males that it's guaranteed success: going to a bar.

* * *

**Cece:** So, it's been two months... please don't kill me! My reasons: this chapter was not meant to be and I had problems with the original chapter 9. Then, halfway through writing this I find out that I have 5 exams and 2 pieces of coursework in **one month**: WHAT THE HELL! Business, Geography, German, Science, English and Maths –it wasn't easy!

(**1**) This was supposed to be one chapter but I couldn't do it, it was too hard! (-goes into a corner-).

Now review replies and thank you's (for both chapter 7 and 8) which were so late that I didn't want to send all of you PMs because I felt you'd think 'WTF! I reviewed two months ago!'. I apologize if anyone's pen name is spelled wrong or if I've missed you out (PM if this is the case).

Thanks you all for the appreciated (seriously. I really do appreciate them) reviews:

GravityTheWizard, Chewie Cookies, Sailor Winx, ToxicManipulator, bladez4ever

Mew-Sahara: Sorry I updated without getting you to check it... can you copy this into a word file and proof read on that file and e-mail it to me, pwease (puppy dog eyes).

Adelaide 'Adell' Peirce: _Yes, yes he is retarded... because of his love for Hinata... yeah let's go with _that.

Vikings love Ranch: **...and Cece loves you (in a platonic way)! I love your reviews! So random and I guess, just like you said, 'Chuck Norris will beat you up with nun chucks'... but if he beats me up who will update? Don't worry I'm adding my name to the Hiashi fangirl list so you've got two members now! ; )**

TwillightGD: I agree. On my wedding (yes, I've committed the crime of taking part in the cliché of girls who's thought about their wedding day...) I will have something more... cultural? With Hiashi's all seeing eyes Naruto's best chance is to run as fast as he can.

Totalnarutofangirl85: _Yes Karin shall die (hopefully). Homework on the first day of school?! BLASPHEMY! BLASPHEMY I SAY!_ :)

Keith: **Great minds think alike. I could so see that conversation happening just before the wedding!**

Nikki Sage: Oh, thank you! And hopefully in the next chapter you'll see the Naruto/Hiashi friendship. I missed it too.

Dragongoth: _I don't think anyone will ever look at Hiashi the same way... if I could get my hand into Shino then that will be two characters I've messed up._

An-Autheress-Unknown: **I do the same thing because I'm lazy. Why review every single chapter when you can leave one lengthy review about all previous chapters? Well, that's what I think but then again I do this since I'm lazy and can't be bothered to type a review for each chapter... but then what's the point? Meh. I'll reach a conclusion soon, hopefully.**

Myth Buster: Hm, that's true; I think I'll use this excuse as to why he didn't get the meaning of 'get it on' in chapter 7: he's Hiashi, so him and slang take a while to understand each other. Lastly, that solution would work.

Red Moon Ninja: _It seems like you've learnt well from Naruto for that justsu to work on me_ :)

ShadowFaux: **I'll try and see if I can get it in, but I think I can when they go drinking.**

Kally-kal: Yep, it sure does, I'm only reading the manga at the moment, do you?

Mojo jojo: _OMG POWERPUFF GIRLS! I loved that show, that's where you got that name from, right? And yes, poor, poor Naruto. His face won't be recognizable._

(23/11/08) CrystalDragon791: **Just saw your review and I hope you'd accept my apology; I will most likely send you a PM before I'm able to upload this proof-read version so this apology might be a few days late.**


	10. Thoughts on second daughters

**Disc.:** No one on this website owns it... or maybe Kishi is right under our noses... *conspiracy theory*

**Note:** _**READ ME!**_ – just to get your attention. Ahem. I know this is not the continuation but I saw a review from **RefusedAngel** about having Hanabi and *he who will not be named here but later on* together and I just couldn't resist.

* * *

Thoughts of a Hyuga Father

Thoughts on Second Daughters (aka: the other one)

* * *

–At Hyuga Dinner: Wednesday Night–

My conspiracy theory all started forming just before I was face down in a bowl of soup on a Wednesday. Yes, Wednesday. The least favourite day of the week: no, really, it's right in the middle of my working days, Monday to Friday; this means that it's no longer the beginning of the week where I brood over going back to work nor is it the end of the week where I celebrate the joys of no paperwork. The Hokage isn't the only one who gets paper work. So as you can tell, I don't like Wednesday which is why it was somewhat ironic to find out that **yet again** I was losing a daughter.

Hinata?

Not her.

The other one.

**Flashback**

–At Hyuga Dinner: 10 minutes ago–

Hanabi was _smiling_ when she entered the dining hall from training. (Keyword: smiling. Emphasis on smiling.)

Hiashi face vaulted into his soup.

Neji cackled then screamed obscenities at the drowning Hyuga and Hinata took that opportunity to escape the evil and **controlling** clutches of Hiashi the dragon, in his evil chambers located in Dictator World to go and live in the happy world of Happy World where she would reside in Marshmallow Lane and eventually marry the Ramen King who lived on Ichiraku Lane in Miso Ramen Palace and bear his Ramen Babies – I mean, she took that opportunity to... eat? (1)

**End Flashback**

Hanabi: the daughter who I doted on more.

The daughter with more talent.

The daughter with more confidence.

The daughter a clan leader would be proud of.

The daughter who killed her mother during childbirth...

...The daughter who left me wifeless...

...The reason my bed is cold...

_Sniff_.

"I never had that problem when Hinata was born!"

"Father?" enquired Hanabi.

"Oh! I did not see you there..." _act calm, internal dialogue became external dialogue..._

"But I'm right beside you..."

"Um. Ahem. Well... I just came in and didn't see you."

"No. You were drowning in your soup. We watched... for a while. The servants pulled you out of it and gave you a towel. You dried off and yelled 'I never had that problem when Hinata was born' which I can assume is a jab at me for something I did wrong which I am not aware of."

"... oh, I'm going to go to my study now; that was a great meal and I couldn't possibly eat anymore."

"We haven't eaten yet."

"Damn, Wednesday."

* * *

–Konoha Tea District: Wednesday Afternoon–

Taking a break from my meetings with blood sucking monsters, aka, the Village Elders (yes, this time I'm not covering up the truth, the statement is true) I decided to go down to Konoha Tea District to drink tea and clear my head.

It was a peaceful and wonderful afternoon (which was odd) but I did not (for once) let my suspicions and conspiracy theories get the better of me; I realised that when I think negatively, bad things happen so what would happen if I thought positively? And thus I proceeded walking to my favourite tea shop and get a new prospective of life.

Sitting humbly (translation: proudly. smugly. arrogantly. condescendingly; take your pick.) with a humble (translation: see previous brackets) expression I, with my marvellous, magnificent eyes (if you have it, flaunt it) that are so sharp that metaphorically they are sharper than newly made kunai, shuriken and shards of glass put together, gazed around, since my eyes don't even have to **focus** to pick out the most precise details, when I saw my Hanabi.

My genius off-spring slacking off when she could be training?

A Hyuga not training? Unheard of, even if the child isn't born. Us, Hyugas', know how strong a child will be even before birth by judging the strength of their kicks in the womb – the strength of the kicks makes those pregnant with a Hyuga child weep at every kick. Yes, we Hyugas' are amazing and training even _before_ birth – even though we could be possibly killing our mothers' slowly from the inside.

I think the moral is that Hyugas equals womb/mother/concubine (they're all the same thing) killers.

Back to the plot.

So I ignored her being content with the fact that her not being on the training grounds **must** mean that she is on a mission and it might just be that she has to go and drink tea from the tea district to complete the mission.

With pride in my daughter's mission and not slacking off, I _coincidently_ crept up swiftly – not before _purposely _tripping up the Uchiha and stealing his son's, aged three, ice cream cone. The baby Uchiha wailed and kicked me in the shin – and _coincidently_ sat in a booth not too far from Hanabi where I could _coincidently_ make sure she was okay whilst I _coincidently_ was able to (**attempted** to) eavesdrop on her conversation; I wasn't _purposely_ spying.

With the little I could hear in the crowded area, I managed to pick up that she was with a male associate, proof that it may be a mission like guarding an important person since Hyugas take _only_ the best missions, but with further eavesdropping this dream was destroyed, ripped up, had the remaining pieces desiccated, liquefied, drank, excreted and spat on again.

She was with a **boy**.

"Hyuga-sama here's your tea." - waitress.

_Cup placed on table._

Slowly losing control I took a sip of the tea to prepare myself, more accurately, my throat, for the ranting I would most likely do when I march up there when I Hanabi emmited a sound.

"Would you like anything else, Hyuga-sama?" – waitress.

A sound I haven't heard since Hanabi's very, _very_, **early** childhood days.

–Insert spit take.

_Spurt._ –

A giggle.

–Insert waitress on receiving end.

_High pitched scream._ –

Hanabi giggled.

My cold hearted girl _giggled_?

"Hyuga-baka! Look at what you've done! I'm soaking wet!"

Hm, I guess I won't be coming back to the tea district after word gets out of my tea spitting on waitresses.

Now time for my stealthy escape before Hanabi notices.

"Father?"

Great.

I blame Wednesday.

* * *

–At the gates of the Hyuga Compound: Wednesday morning–

I like to start my Wednesday morning the right way by watching the sun rise on my porch, just opposite the main gates. It used to be part of my daily routine when my wife was alive; it was her idea, she loved the warmth the sun brought.

Hm. I think my wife was destined to be a Hyuga since she loved the sun and Hyuga means towards the sun. You could she had a sun fetish or liked anything that brought warmth to her. Putting it that way, I feel like a better person since, obviously, my cheeriness and kindness brought warmth to her heart and made her fall in love with me.

So as I pondered over what else she loved about me and made a mental list of over fifty things that are lovable, I saw (MY EYES SEE ALL, DAMMIT!) a quick flash of dark hair passed which assumed must be Hanabi, or Hinata but the latter isn't important enough at the moment.

Deciding that it would be nice to spend quality time, without it revolving around training (_gasp_), I walked up to the gates and heard two voices: one, obviously, Hanabi's and the other, recognisable. Approaching the voices I was shocked to see a brown haired boy embracing my Hanabi whilst praising her.

By the time they had broke apart, the boy, grinning widely like that brat (Naruto) at my **blushing** little girl.

"Hey Old man! Those maids of yours cook great food, even prepared a bubble bath for me and ironed my clothes which they washed last night!" _the brat was here? In my compound? He STAYED over in __**my**__ compound, SLEPT most likely in __**my**__ daughter's bed in __**my**__ compound, ATE __**my**__ food in __**my**__ compound, had his clothes IRONED and WASHED in __**my**__ compound and BATHED in one of __**my**__ bathroom in __**my**__ compound? _"Are you okay? You look red."

"Hey! Boss (2)! Look at what Hanabi-chan gave me! Two free Ichiraku ramen coupons; let's go!"

"Yosh! Let us hurry Konohamaru!"

They promptly left in a frantic, maddened sprint towards the stall.

Hanabi looked like she'd been slapped right across the face (3).

Hinata was humming, a piece of toast with a honey spread in her hand she wasn't eating for the moment, as she picked flowers in the garden; a very concerning swarm of bees were getting closer to the heir.

A semi-naked Neji was being chased by a horde of fan girls (In your face Neji! That's karma, bitch!).

And I got into my –very– old ANBU uniform (4); two people need to be disposed of.

* * *

**A/N:** BTW, each bit happened a week, or whenever after each other: none of the above happened all on one Wednesday.

(1): I re-read that bit and realised the whole paragraph is so dysfunctional (this sentence doesn't make sense -_- nor does the paragraph T_T). Sadly, I'm not on/taking/drinking anything (you know, _bad stuff_), or ever will be, which means it was all me! *cries* What do my antibiotics count?

(2): I've only watched the English (boo! hiss! dubbing is bad!) episodes with Konohamaru in them... What does he call Naruto in the Japanese (yay, for the originals!) episodes?

(3): Just encase it wasn't clear: Hanabi hoped to go out with Konohamaru to Ichiraku but once Naruto was on the scene Konohamaru left her for him - man crush or just a meal with his "boss"?

(4): I made that up but I imagine he was an ANBU at some point. What animal mask do you think Hiashi had/could have/possibly had?


	11. Thoughts on bonding: part 2

**Warning:** Some suggestive material/mentions of sex. And the song 'Bad Touch'. Not proof read.

**Disc.: ***sings* When I grow up! I want to be . . . an obstetrician/gynaecologist. I like babies.

**Summary:** :Chap 11: Naruto. Hiashi. Karaoke. Miscommunication. Shots. Yo Mama fights. Brawls. Bonding? The protective big daddy vs. the idiot. The prize: Hinata. Naruto has no chance against Hiashi.

**Notes:** Hm. Last update: 28 January 2009. I can explain? Also, evil granny update!

* * *

Thoughts of a Hyuga Father:

Thoughts on Bonding Part 2 (Third time's the charm!)

* * *

A Bar.

Wait.

Not just a bar – a strip bar.

The fool took me to a strip bar.

Hyuga's do not go to such disgusting places.

What next? Karaoke.

* * *

Plan A: Karaoke of 'Operation: Hiashi befriends me so that Hinata and I can live happily ever after'

"YOU AND I BABY AIN'T NOTHING BUT MAMMALS! SO LET'S DO IT LIKE THEY DO ON THE DISCOVERY CHANNEL! GETTING HORNY NOW!"

Oh dear lord.

Hiashi's singing is horrible.

"– what's a horny?"

Maybe Karaoke wasn't a good idea but it looks like he's having a good time.

". . . AND THEN WE'LL DO IT DOGGY STYLE SO THAT WE CAN BOTH WATCH X-FILES!"

Why did he choose this song?

" – is doggy style a jutsu? Is it really strong?"

"Hai. It's a very powerful jutsu! But you need two people. You should try it out with someone."

. . . Ew.

She did not just say that.

EW.

"Oh. I understand." Hiashi said with a look of understanding – _thank God_. "I should try it out on someone strong enough to handle it"

This definitely wasn't a good idea.

* * *

The fool has taken me away from the electronic singing device.

And my fans, albeit them being strippers.

And I was having fun.

The song title really spoke to me. Bad Touch is how I would describe the Gentle Fist; bad to whoever gets hit with it.

I wonder if this song was a tribute to our clans attack.

No one has told me what this doggy style attack entails, yet.

* * *

Okay Plan A did not go well but I still have other plans to ensure my success in 'Operation: Hiashi befriends me so that Hinata and I can live happily ever after'.

Plan B: Shots

". . . shots?" rubbing my chin thoughtfully I contemplated the idiots request, "shots? As in attacks? Does this have to do with the new jutsu I have been told about?"

"NO!" the boy looks perturbed, "shots as in drinking shots. Bartender!"

The man in front of various glass bottles waddled over with tiny glasses filled with a peculiar clear liquid with a lemon wedge.

The boy turned and grinned.

His smile reminds me of the two buffoons in green suits. I heard one of the buffoons refer to the elder as "Gai-sensei"; if this "Gai-sensei" trained the idiot he is definitely not fit to marry a Hyuga (1).

"DRINK UP!" he screeched before downing the liquid.

Hm. He most definitely trained with the buffoon. The buffoon yelled a lot too. I should definitely send a spy to dig up his past.

* * *

10 minutes and 6 shots later.

"I hate you, Uzumaki."

If this wasn't so funny I would be offended.

Old man is slurring and insulting a plant.

"You are a – a – a – "

"Um. Old man."

"DON'T INTER – INTER - INTERROOOOO"

"Interrupt?"

"Yes! That."

I think I should take him home; he's had too much and is now talking to a pineapple.

"Old man. I'm over here. It's time to go."

He swivelled around to face me, "you are a Hinata stealer. My baby is now tainted by knowing you and now the whole clan will be destroyed now that you are to become one of us!"

If I didn't love Hinata-chan I would kill him.

* * *

These shoe things I have been given are very strong.

Oops.

Almost feel off my stool.

Damn shop things.

This boy is trouble just like his mother.

I see the connection.

She never shut up and after telling him politely about his tainting of the Hyuga clan he won't stop talking (read: shouting).

The forth wasn't an idiot.

Maybe he got his idiocy from his mother.

"MY MUM IS NOT AN IDIOT! SHE IS BEAUTIFUL AND KIND AND –"

Hm. Did I say that out load?

I blame the shell things. A Hyuga never reveals one's most inner thoughts. I think he came to drug me just so that I could reveal information about the Hyuga clan.

IS HE A NINJA FROM KUMO IN DISGUISE TRYING TO GET MORE INFORMATION ABOUT THE HYUGA CLAN AFTER FAILING WHEN HINATA WAS 3?

* * *

He insulted my mum (God rest her soul).

I, Naruto Uzumaki, do not stand for that and I now have to protect her honour.

How?

A Yo Mama fight.

"Well, Yo mama so old I told her to act her own age, and she died."

* * *

My mother is dead.

She died last year at age 104.

. . .

IS UZUMAKI THE CAUSE OF HER UNTIMELY DEATH!

"YOU SHALL DIE! TREASON! KILLER OF THE HYUGA MATRIARCH!"

"WAIT! NO IT WAS A JOKE!"

"AND YOU ARE TRYING TO KILL ME NOW WITH THESE SHOE – SHOP – SHELL –"

" – shots?"

"WHATEVER THESE THINGS ARE CALLED! WHILST TRYING TO PRY INFORMATION FROM ME ABOUT THE HYUGA CLAN! YOU ARE FROM KUMO, AREN'T YOU!"

"What? No!"

"LIAR! YOU COULDN'T GET INFORMATION FROM MY MOTHER LAST YEAR SO YOU KILLED HER! THEN YOU DECIDED TO PREY ON MY POOR DAUGHTER WITH A HEART OF GOLD AND TRY TO GET INFORMATION BY MARRYING INTO THE CLAN!"

"Wait, no! I love Hinata-chan – "

" – AND YOU ALMOST GOT AWAY WITH IT IF IT WEREN'T FOR MY MEDELLING WHICH IS PREVENTING THE MARRIAGE SO YOU HAVE TO KILL ME JUST SO THAT YOU CAN MARRY HINATA"

"I'm confused"

"DIE! BYAKUGAN!"

* * *

2 hours later outside the Hyuga complex.

"Naruto-kun! What happened."

"Nothing."

"Well, I hope you two had fun."

Aw sweet, sweet Hinata-chan. How is she related to the evil passed out man slung over my shoulder?

I'm lucky to be alive!

If it weren't for the brawl that broke out, I wouldn't have been able to strategically make my escape.

"Put me down!" the aforementioned now awake brawl starter mumbled seemingly alarmed, "QUICKLY!"

Great he's awake.

I set him down on the floor so that he could stand whilst I supported him with one arm.

_Bleh._

EW.

He threw up on me.

I got the idiot

Divine justice.

I'll kill him tomorrow.

* * *

A/N: Hm. This is one big mess. But then again drunken people aren't going to be orderly.

(1) The irony. Gai is Neji's sensei.

There were actually two versions of this chapter. The first version I wrote and then this one which I started typing straight after I uploaded the first one – I like this one more so I decided to change it.

I like drunk!Hiashi.

My excuses. School. Procrastination. Final Exams. Laziness. Forgive me?

Now, I'm just relaxing and preparing for my month long holiday (MOMBASA BEACH RESORTS! FTW!) so I have time to update before I leave on the third week of July. Then I come back to face results *cue scary music* and complete the final stage of enrolment into college (no more uniform!).

An update on the evil granny issues I seem to have – I got into an argument with one at a bus station (it's like a huge bus stop for many busses) a week back. So if anyone in London saw a girl ready to battle it out with an old lady at a bus station – it was probably me. This is how it started: after the whole exam period my mum was like, "let's go shopping!", and I was like "sure". On the way home, it was still school hours so the station was fairly empty, then this old lady came and sat down – next to me, when there were like over ten space available. I have this thing where if there are obviously empty seats elsewhere, I do not expect someone to choose to sit next to me or vice versa – and aren't old ladies meant to fear teenagers? Anyway. What prompted the argument – she kept her big, hard bag on her right shoulder in the middle of us. The seats aren't big and right next to each other so it was digging into my ribs on my left side so I move over. She moves over TOWARDS me. I move again since it's now back digging into my ribs. Now I follow the three strikes rule so I move once more (now I'm like spread over two seats, uncomfortably I will add, and pushing my mum further down the row of seats). Bet you can never guess what happened next. She f*****g moved over again. That was like the third strike, so with my personal space issues, I turn to her and point out what has been happening and ask her to "move her bag" and "move down a bit so that I can sit properly on my seat". I even used my please and thank you's. She denied what she was doing and claimed I was "uppity". So an argument broke out with my mum trying not to laugh beside me. The bus came, at which point my mum says I was getting a bit threatening and violent, and was promptly dragged away by my mum. The old woman also happened to get on the bus. Tension. I glared at her throughout the bus ride and she tried to ignore me. She got off a few stops later. I'm waiting for "Round 2".


End file.
